Crimes Against Art Episode Three

Hot or Not: Our fave restoration failures

Although you need to understand maths and science to become an art conservator, you could also just give it a red-hot go, which is always more entertaining.

Studying to become an art conservator takes years of skilled and exact study, with a sound knowledge of science a prerequisite, and the following examples demonstrate why all that science is so very necessary.

  1. I am not sure if this restoration was completed with paint or Pat McGrath latest makeup collection, he looks great either way. San Antonio of Padua (ca. 19th century) Soledad.

  1. Nicknamed Santa Barbie for her plastic fantastic look. Santa Bárbara (ca. 19th century) Santa Cruz da Barra Chapel, Fortaleza de Santa Cruz.

  1. Botch me once, shame on you. Botch me twice, shame on me. Learning from past mistakes is perhaps not as straightforward as we first thought when it comes to restoration. Bartolomé Esteban Murillo The Immaculate Conception of Los Venerables (ca. 17th century).

  1. The aptly named Potato Head of Palencia. A face I'm not even sure a mother would recognise, let alone love. Bank exterior (1923) Palencia.

  1. The beloved Monkey Christ. I fear a more accurate depiction of the anguish of humanity. Elías García Martinez, Ecce Homo (ca. 1930) Borja.

  1. I can't remember Tintin looking so dissociative in the comics, but it is relatable. St George (ca. 16th century) St Michael's Church, Estrella.

  1. A biblically accurate lamb, I hope he greets me at the gates of heaven. Hubert and Jan van Eyck, Adoration of the Mystic Lamb altarpiece (1432).

  1. And finally, what I would consider an excellent restoration of a Picasso.

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